It's Thursday today and I visited my brother. It's the last weekday where I won't be working, I am going back to work on Monday, having fully recovered from my surgery. I must say it's much easier to visit him when I am not working, it is not nearly as much as a burden. Plus, when I visit him during the week at night, we don't have time to go out, I just sit with him at the nursing home. Today we went to Dunkin Donuts and I bought him a coffee. He seemed to relish it, which made me feel good.
I've been having a few run ins with the social worker, who is a young, inexperienced male. I have asked him several times to make arrangements to have my brother's hearing aid cleaned, he hasn't done anything about it yet. Readers will remember that because the home didn't clean the hearing aid, I had to pay almost $400 to have it fixed. He is also supposed to be arranging to have cataract surgery for my brother and he hasn't done anything on that either. I am close to calling the home director and asking her to intercede. He seems to be in charge of the laundry,which has lost most of my brother clothes and all his socks. Today I brought the 12 new pairs of white socks with my brother's name written in huge block letters in indelible ink and I showed the socks to this guy and told him that my expectations were that they shouldn't be lost.
My brother seemed a little out of breath today. I arranged for him to get a haircut and asked the nurse to make sure his fingernails get cut. His nails are really raggedy and he has been scratching himself.
I am pretty relaxed from the long time I have had off of work. I am a bit concerned the stress is going to start up again next week, and I am determined not to let it get me sick again. I am also concerned that this visiting twice a week (that's two hours of driving alone, not even counting the visiting) is going to get overwhelming over time.
Thursday, June 23, 2011
Sunday, June 19, 2011
socks and nightime phone calls
Today, my daughter and I went to visit my brother and take him out to breakfast. When I got to the nursing home, I found out that all his socks had been lost and he wasn't wearing any. This is just so hard to believe how mismanaged the laundry service is. The nurse told me to get white socks and label them with big black letters, that it might work better. I went out later and bought him 12 new pairs and did the labeling. We will see how long they last.
Tonight they called at 9:15 to let me know he had been picking at his scalp again, and that there was a skin tear. Of course, my heart jumped when I got a call from the nursing home so late. I asked them not to call unless it was a real emergency, but they said they the law compels them to do so.
Nonetheless, by brother was chipper. He said that the big news that week was that someone the fire alarm had gone off erroneously. (at least this is his version, it might have been a drill.) I asked him what they did during a fire drill. He said they took everyone out of the main activities room and put them in the hallways. (he lives on the second floor.) Most of the patients are in wheel chairs and not mobile. It is scary to think of what they would do if there was a real fire and they had to get people downstairs right away. I told my brother I think he is strong enough to slowly go down the stairs by himself, and that he could walk, if he had to, without his walker. I hope he realizes this if an emergency ever really happened.
Tonight they called at 9:15 to let me know he had been picking at his scalp again, and that there was a skin tear. Of course, my heart jumped when I got a call from the nursing home so late. I asked them not to call unless it was a real emergency, but they said they the law compels them to do so.
Nonetheless, by brother was chipper. He said that the big news that week was that someone the fire alarm had gone off erroneously. (at least this is his version, it might have been a drill.) I asked him what they did during a fire drill. He said they took everyone out of the main activities room and put them in the hallways. (he lives on the second floor.) Most of the patients are in wheel chairs and not mobile. It is scary to think of what they would do if there was a real fire and they had to get people downstairs right away. I told my brother I think he is strong enough to slowly go down the stairs by himself, and that he could walk, if he had to, without his walker. I hope he realizes this if an emergency ever really happened.
Thursday, June 9, 2011
the hearing aid
Last Sunday, when I took my brother out for breakfast, I took home his hearing aid so I could get it fixed. It was pretty obvious that the nursing home was changing the battery but not cleaning it. When I tried to clean it, a huge glob of ear wax came out, but that still wasn't good enough for him to hear properly.
I did the 15 minute drive on Monday morning to the hearing aid store, only to find out it was closed on Mondays, despite the fact their web page said they were open. Normally this would drive me up a wall because I would have had to take off from work to do it. However, since I am still recovering from surgery, I am available to do short jaunts.
I went back on Tuesday and found out that his insurance doesn't cover the hearing aid, because the issue is "weak sound", not that it was broken. Whatever. I also had to agree to pay $60 so it would be fixed within a week rather than two weeks. My brother really turns into himself when he can't hear, and stops communicating, and it isn't healthy. The whole thing is going to cost more than $300.
However, the hearing aid store offered to send someone out on a monthly basis to the nursing home to clean everyone's hearing aids. They do this to drum up business, they did it at the place where my brother was doing assisted living. The nursing home seems up for it, and the patient advocate is agitating for the nursing home to pay the bill because she recognized it was their fault for not cleaning the hearing aid in the first place. Now, if I could only get them to find his clothes that are missing!
My brother still seems somehow, not quite right, and was a little out of breath when he walked to the car. I hope this does not develop into yet another crisis.
I did the 15 minute drive on Monday morning to the hearing aid store, only to find out it was closed on Mondays, despite the fact their web page said they were open. Normally this would drive me up a wall because I would have had to take off from work to do it. However, since I am still recovering from surgery, I am available to do short jaunts.
I went back on Tuesday and found out that his insurance doesn't cover the hearing aid, because the issue is "weak sound", not that it was broken. Whatever. I also had to agree to pay $60 so it would be fixed within a week rather than two weeks. My brother really turns into himself when he can't hear, and stops communicating, and it isn't healthy. The whole thing is going to cost more than $300.
However, the hearing aid store offered to send someone out on a monthly basis to the nursing home to clean everyone's hearing aids. They do this to drum up business, they did it at the place where my brother was doing assisted living. The nursing home seems up for it, and the patient advocate is agitating for the nursing home to pay the bill because she recognized it was their fault for not cleaning the hearing aid in the first place. Now, if I could only get them to find his clothes that are missing!
My brother still seems somehow, not quite right, and was a little out of breath when he walked to the car. I hope this does not develop into yet another crisis.
Sunday, June 5, 2011
breakfast
Today I drove myself for the first time in 3 weeks to go see my brother. I took him out for breakfast. He looked a little shaky today and wasn't walking very strongly until he had some food in him. He looks like he has lost more weight so I asked him about it. He said he had, and said they were giving him supplemental nutrients. (I already knew this from several months ago.) I asked him was it the food, was it no good and he said it wasn't that, but then he also said the food was unappetizing.
He ate about 2/3 of a waffle. It's hard these days to remember him when he was so overweight (only about 7 years ago). I have read on the Internet that loss of appetite is correlated with congestive heart failure.
But he was in good spirits. It's still very hard to keep up a conversation with him, his world is pretty confined.
He ate about 2/3 of a waffle. It's hard these days to remember him when he was so overweight (only about 7 years ago). I have read on the Internet that loss of appetite is correlated with congestive heart failure.
But he was in good spirits. It's still very hard to keep up a conversation with him, his world is pretty confined.
Thursday, June 2, 2011
a walk in the woods
Yesterday, my husband and I went out to the nursing home and took my brother out. It was a beautiful day in the high seventies, low eighties,with a nice warm wind so you didn't get hot. First we went to Subways and had sandwiches. This used to be a favorite exercise of my father and brother. (I should also note it was my deceased mother's birthday, too.) Then we went to a near-by forest preserves. The preserves had a small dilapidated zoo with a few birds of prey and a skunk, which didn't show itself. Also some bee hives. The path was such that my brother could get around on a walker. It was very pleasant.
I was the one who got tired first (I'm still recuperating), so we drove back to the nursing home and dropped him off. My brother seemed very happy to get out. So far though, he has not guilt tripped me at all, although I often feel badly on my own that he is stuck inside in one place so much.
A good day.
I was the one who got tired first (I'm still recuperating), so we drove back to the nursing home and dropped him off. My brother seemed very happy to get out. So far though, he has not guilt tripped me at all, although I often feel badly on my own that he is stuck inside in one place so much.
A good day.
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