life of pi

Last night, Christmas Eve, we took my brother out for Chinese dinner and a movie.  That's what Jewish people do on Christmas Eve.  He did ok at the dinner.  In fact, he told us he likes spicy food, and he doesn't get it at the nursing home. 

The movie was "Life of Pi".  It was in 3-D and he had to wear glasses.  He didn't seem to like the glasses.  After the movie I asked him what the problem was.  I didn't get a clear answer.  I wonder what his brain does with the images, and I guess I will never know.  When I asked him if he liked the movie (he had wanted to see either Lincoln, which we had seen, or the one on FDR, which none of us wanted to see) he said it was the strangest movie he had ever seen.  Well, it was pretty strange, I'll vouch for that!  But I really liked it.

It was a nice evening, despite the fact that there was a lot of down time between dinner and the movie.  If he hadn't of been with us, we could have gone for a walk, or stopped for coffee somewhere.  But I shouldn't complain.  At least he is pretty healthy right now.  I feel fine about leaving down for  4-5 days, we are going to Minnesota to visit with family and friends. 

This time is a little depressing for me.  I remember the holidays the last several years when my parents and my brother were all so sick.  My mother had really liked reading the book, "The Life of Pi" and I couldn't read it with her because she was dying when she was reading it and I was stretched to the limit, visiting her and taking care of my family.  After that, I just couldn't bear to read it, because I missed her so much.  I am happy, though, that enough time has passed so I can see the movie, and now maybe I can find the strength to read the book.

It is strange to have my life back together and not to have to worry so much or feel so much loss.  I feel a little guilty about enjoying myself while my brother is stuck in a nursing home.  But there is no way I could keep him busy and occupied because he can't do much of anything since his mobility is so limited.

Holidays are hard.

redeemed!

I took by bother out for breakfast yesterday.  It was a rainy day, and I got a good parking space in the parking lot where he didn't have to walk alot. When we sat down to have breakfast, I noticed that my reading glasses were no longer in my pocket where I had put them.

I mentioned to my brother that I had misplaced my glasses and was going back to the car to look for them  He told me that they were not in the car because he had noticed they had dropped out of my pocket onto the ground.

I asked him why he didn't tell me when he saw the event take place.  He gave me a very blank look.

This is not the first time something like this has happened.  I think it is part of my brother's autism, he just never would occur to him that he should have told me.  Anyway I went back out to look for my glasses and got my pants all wet when I got down on my hands and knees to look for them to see if they were under the car.  No glasses.

When we left, I pulled the car straight out so in case they were there so I wouldn't crush them.   Mind you, this is a very busy parking lot and there was already a big black SUB inpatiently waiting for me as I slowly backed up, anxiously looking for the glasses.  No glasses.

But all of a sudden, my brother said, "They're right there".  And they were.  With my eyesight, I would have never seen them.  But he did.  Redeemed!

chipper

I took my brother out for lunch today.  I asked him how he was doing.  He said chipper. I asked him what that meant.  He said better than lovely.  Then I asked him why.  He said he had gotten his act together!

He also had gotten a haircut, and I was pleased to see he was only charged $16 instead of the $35 that the old nursing home used to charge.  I mentioned to him that next time he should get his moustache trimmed too, it's getting quite bushy.  He nodded in agreement.

He did look pretty good today.  I am trying to reconcile that with the gurgling I heard earlier this week.  I was visiting later in the day with a doctor friend, who in passing (talking about his own heart trouble scare) mentioned gurgling.  So I asked him how bad should the gurgling be before I start having a fit at the nursing home.  He told me to look for shortness of breath at the same time and weight gain.  (It is very difficult to see swelling of the ankles from water retention because my brothers legs are so thin, and a bit distorted,  in the first place.)  I was thinking today how I was once told that the life expectancy of someone who has congestive heart failure averages out to about five years after diagnoses.  My brother has already hit six and seems to be ok!

another gurgle

My husband and I took my brother out for dinner last night at Panera.  I noticed he had a pretty significant gurgle so I asked the nurse practitioner to look at him.  She just called.  She said his lungs sounded pretty clear and that where his pneumonia that he had last month occurred suggested aspiration. 

This is not the first time I have heard this theory.  I heard it a lot when he was throwing up a lot several years ago.  That time, it turned out to be infected gall bladder stones.  So I kind of poo-pooed it, and let her know that gurgling in the past has been a major sign of impending congestive heart failure.

But his vitals are good and his lungs sound good, and of course, today, he had no gurgle.  So only time will tell.

a littletired

I took my brother out for breakfast this Saturday.  He seemed a bit quiet, like he wasn't feeling quite up to speed.  I kept on asking him how he felt, but he said he was ok.  He also said he had slept well the night before.  Something just wasn't quite right.