pre new years

I just came back from a trip to the Twin Cities with my husband and my daughter.  I felt slightly guilty leaving my brother back, but not guilty enough not to do it.  It was really nice being able to leave town without having to worry about him.  I wasn't worried because he was doing so well when I left, he was even walking a bit without his walker.

Tomorrow is New Years Eve.  I plan to visit him in the morning and take him out for coffee, but I don't plan on seeing him on New Years Day.  I feel a little guilty about this too.  If he lived closer, I would bring him to my house.  I haven't gotten myself to call the nursing home closer to my home to get him on a waiting list because I'm afraid they are going to reject him and I am going to get really aggravated.  They have this thing about not taking anyone before 65 (he's 63), and of course, they are not going to want a public aid patient.  I am still dwelling on how to broach this to them.

movies

Last Saturday, my husband and I took my brother out to the movies.  First we went and had Middle Eastern fast food, and then we say "Tower Heist".  My brother was in a good mood, despite the fact it was dark out, which bothers him because he doesn't see too well.  Going to dinner and the movies is a good activity to do with him because it's not that boring.  I think I have mentioned that it is usually very hard to keep a conversation going with him.  Having my husband there really helps.

I'm on vacation this week, so I went out during the day on Tuesday to deliver gifts for some favorite staff and two cookie (store bought) trays for the staff.  Everyone seemed quite appreciative, the CN (the person who keeps my brother clean, etc.) actually started crying, it was touching.  I was glad I had gone to the effort, even though it isn't exactly how I want to be spending precious time off of work. But it did make feel how much easier it would be to caretake for my brother if I was not working and retired.  My brother is very undemanding, the smallest bit of effort on my part seems to make him pretty happy.

I also took him out to Dunkin Donuts for coffee (he had a latte!) and when we came back they were just starting Hanukkah services.  They were calling for him like he was part of the family, and he seemed pretty happy to be back.

So it was a good visit.  I am in a good mood myself because these are the first holidays in a very long time where someone in my family is not near imminent death.  It feels very good not to have that cloud over me right now (although I am very aware it could come back at any moment.)  so far, it's very happy holidays!

no news is good news

I had an uneventful visit with my brother today.  It is Sunday, so I took him out for breakfast.  He has altered his usual order by now having a toasted bagel instead of rye toast.  I cleaned out his hearing aid, he needed a new battery.  That's about it.  I told him if a good movie was released, I would take him out this month to see it.  That brightened him up a bit.