I am in California, with my husband, dropping my daughter off at Berkeley, where she will start college tomorrow. My son lives in San Francisco, so it has been an interesting interlude.
I was in Sacramento, visiting an old friend when my cell phone rang. It was the nursing home that is nearer to my house,calling to say that they were starting a new program for patients who were higher end. They wanted to them to live on the third floor, which is usually reserved for the patients who need the most help The idea would be that the new patients, who would live in a "pod", would be able to do the activities on the second floor which has the patients which are more mobile and alert. The pod residents would be able to switch over to the second floor as beds opened up.
I suppose this is happening for some internal reason,like they can't keep their third floor full I am hoping that this will be ok for my brother. I see it as a way of getting him in the door of this nursing home. This is the same one that I wrote bout earlier that told me that there was no way to ever get him in because he was public aid.
Since I was in California, I called our case manager and asked her to assist in taking my brother over to this new home to see if he likes it Also the new nursing home send staff over to the old home to evaluate him. So nothing is a done deal.
I am having fantasies of 15 minute drives instead of 45 minute drives each way, and being able to drive him around in our town, which is also the one he has lived in most of his life. I am thinking holidays are going to much, much easier, and that I can have him over to my house more often on the weekend. I am thinking that moving him to a new nursing home may be moer stimulating for him, right now, he is spending too much time sleeping and staring into space.
I am hoping he will be on his best behavior as he is interviewed, etc.
Wish us luck!
Wednesday, August 22, 2012
Saturday, August 11, 2012
to my readers
I was just looking over the statistics for my blog, and I was pretty gratified to see that someone is actually reading my posts now and then. But I am a little surprised that no one every writes back!
That's ok, because I mainly write for myself, I started this when my brother was in medical crisis (he's not anymore) and it was, andis, very therapeutic for me to just get my feelings out. When I am upset about something in relationship to my brother, it makes me feel better just to get it on paper.
I also feel it's a good way to document that relationship with the nursing home, in case there is ever some legal issue that arises.
I'm writing this particular post because I know that at siblings conferences this blog is sometimes mentioned. I just wanted to invite more people to blog about their experiences, both for themselves and for others, too.
I know this sounds pretty morbid, but I am happy there is a written record of this experience that either I and/or my family members will have to remember my brother by. It's a human life, and it's important to document the experience.
My brother has had a very hard life, and he doesn't complain much. It doesn't take much to make him happy. I just want people to know that.
That's ok, because I mainly write for myself, I started this when my brother was in medical crisis (he's not anymore) and it was, andis, very therapeutic for me to just get my feelings out. When I am upset about something in relationship to my brother, it makes me feel better just to get it on paper.
I also feel it's a good way to document that relationship with the nursing home, in case there is ever some legal issue that arises.
I'm writing this particular post because I know that at siblings conferences this blog is sometimes mentioned. I just wanted to invite more people to blog about their experiences, both for themselves and for others, too.
I know this sounds pretty morbid, but I am happy there is a written record of this experience that either I and/or my family members will have to remember my brother by. It's a human life, and it's important to document the experience.
My brother has had a very hard life, and he doesn't complain much. It doesn't take much to make him happy. I just want people to know that.
withdrawal
Today I brought my daughter to visit my brother one last time before she goes to college. We came into the activity room where my brother often sits and he was there with his head on the table, totally out of it. However, as soon as we came into the room he came out of the withdrawl, and we had a nice breakfast with him, discussing the Olympics. He seems to be watching a bit of it, and I think he is reading about the results in the paper. When he said good-bye to my daughter, he thanked her for coming and made some sweet remarks about wishing her success in college.
I ran into his new friend, who has memory issues, and has asked me twice what my name is and who I am. I am wondering if this new friend has something to do with his withdrawal from the world. Before, he was spending time with some of the more alert patients.
His withdrawal from activities and the world is really starting to bother me. I am thinking I really need to get him into another nursing home, just because he needs the stimulus of something new.
I found out about one this week that takes public aid that would cut the drive down by about 1/3. It still is kind of far away, but it would be better. I just hate to move him and then find out there's another one that would be just as good but closer.
Also, I am not optimistic about any nursing home taking him unless it's straight from a hospital. I think the nursing homes are prejudiced against him because of his age and his developmental disabilities, they think he is going to be too much to take care of (he actually is one of the patients who needs the least care, at least in the facility he is in right now.) But I feel I need to try.
This week, I am about to start a two week vacation, which should be a little stressful because we are taking my daughter out to college and that's a big change. I am a little nervous about leaving him for so long, this is the longest I have been gone since my parents became ill and eventually passed away. I have prepared a two page document for the nursing home and his case manager with phone numbers, etc., and I have two wonderful friends who have volunteered to deal with an emergency, should it happen, until I get home. Cross your fingers!
I ran into his new friend, who has memory issues, and has asked me twice what my name is and who I am. I am wondering if this new friend has something to do with his withdrawal from the world. Before, he was spending time with some of the more alert patients.
His withdrawal from activities and the world is really starting to bother me. I am thinking I really need to get him into another nursing home, just because he needs the stimulus of something new.
I found out about one this week that takes public aid that would cut the drive down by about 1/3. It still is kind of far away, but it would be better. I just hate to move him and then find out there's another one that would be just as good but closer.
Also, I am not optimistic about any nursing home taking him unless it's straight from a hospital. I think the nursing homes are prejudiced against him because of his age and his developmental disabilities, they think he is going to be too much to take care of (he actually is one of the patients who needs the least care, at least in the facility he is in right now.) But I feel I need to try.
This week, I am about to start a two week vacation, which should be a little stressful because we are taking my daughter out to college and that's a big change. I am a little nervous about leaving him for so long, this is the longest I have been gone since my parents became ill and eventually passed away. I have prepared a two page document for the nursing home and his case manager with phone numbers, etc., and I have two wonderful friends who have volunteered to deal with an emergency, should it happen, until I get home. Cross your fingers!
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