hoarse

I went to visit my brother yesterday (Saturday) with my daughter.  We took him out to breakfast.  He was pretty hoarse, so I stopped by to ask the nurse to keep an eye on him, that he had congestive heart failure.  She said that so far he hadn't put on any weight.  Well, at least she was aware of the issue. 

But now, I'm a little nervous.  I don't want to be a nag, but I have no confidence that the staff will stay on top of his condition.  It could be he just has a cold, there's been a lot of that going around at the nursing home.  But the flu could also turn into something worse.

Tomorrow is my husband's birthday.  Last year, we found out I had cancer on his birthday.  I don't want to call the nursing home tomorrow and possibly ruin another birthday.  I think I will probably wait and call on Tuesday.  I think I have enough grace time, given the situation.

I  have been reflecting on everything that has happened in the past year, and given what could have gone wrong, things are pretty good!  This time last year, I thought my brother had less than a year to live.  I no longer think that. I've had some time this year to take care of myself and other family needs, and I'm feeling pretty good too, so let's keep our fingers crossed.

disappointment

Yesterday, I called a nursing home that was closer to my huse, Lieberman's to see where my brother was on the mailing list.  I may have mentioned that I have previously called, trying to place hm there.  It used to be there said they didn't take anyone until they were 65.  But I asked my case manager to work on it and he got put on the list.  But when I called yesterday, they really put me off.  They said that it would be very unlikely they would take him because they give priority to residents who are ini assisted living in their system (they are a non-profit).  It took me quite a while to find out how many people were even on the public aid list.  This actually doesn't surprise me.  It's really hard to place him because he's on public aid and nursing homes figure he will live a long time because of his age.  This is discrimination because he is developmentally disabled and I'm not sure that there is anything I can do about it, from what I understand, it's not even against the law.  As long as the nursing homes have medicad beds, they can pick and choose who they want to fill them.

I found this very depressing.  I went and had breakfast with him, he was looking pretty good, and I was reflecting that he could live a long time, and I'm not sure how long I'm going to last going to drive for an hour and a half, twice a week, to visit him.  Plus, it's very disappointing to not have an easy way to bring him to my house.

back from Spain

I came back from Spain yesterday.  Because of the time change, I woke up very early today and went out to see my brother about a half hour earlier than I usually do.  By being away for a little more than a week, we had a little more than usual to talk about.  I gave him a brief 60 second version of my trip, he told me how he had won 8 times in Bingo in one day.  Today is Easter, and yesterday, they had a seder for Passover at the nursing home.  He said it lasted about an hour, and that the chaplain had asked him to read the four questions.  I told him I wouldn't even know what the four questions were, let alone the answers. 

When I put his walker in my car, I noticed some liquid oozing out of the little box that is there to hold personal items.  With trepidation I opened it and discovered all sorts of packets of mustard, ketchup, butter, and cream.  I cannot figure this out because he has no access to food other than at his meals, so what is he using the condiments for?  I could not get a straight story out of him, he was pretty sheepish.  I mentioned to him that he could get very sick from eating rancid butter and cream and that this stuff needed to be refrigerated or it went bad.  So I scooped out the butter and cream, and then washed my hands, which were pretty grimy.   I also found a bag of gummi worm type candies, and when I asked where they came from, he told me the chaplain had given them to him because he wanted to "get rid of it".

When we came back to the nursing home, I spoke to his nurse Stephanie about the need for someone to check the contents of his walker on a daily basis.  I also expressed my concern that given his choking problems, gummi candy was probably not a good idea.  She agreed and said she would write into his chart the need to look into the walker.  I give the chances of this actually happening at about 5%.

As I was leaving, I ran into one of the CNTs that we really liked who had been switched to the first floor (my brother is on the second.)  She saw me and ran up and gave me a big hug.  I think I got the hug because we had given her a gift certificate for Christmas, and back then, she had started crying when she received it.  She is a really nice lady, and I felt really good about the hug.