I took my brother out tonight to Dunkin Donuts. It was not our usual routing. I took him out by myself, and an evening earlier in the week because my husband and I are busy tmorrow night. My husband had a work event tonite, so he didn't come.
This time, I ate at home first. I was really hungry, and preferred to eat something healthier than I could get a Panera, which is where we usually go Wednesday nights. WE both had coffees (I was super tired and afraid of falling asleep as I drove back to my house) and to my surprise, my brother ordered a donut. He wouldn't pick it out, he made me do it.
He started talking about the different nursing homes he had stayed in and started sayiing how much better the previous homes had been. I asked him why he thought that way, and said I thought he would have been dead by now if he has stayed at them, that they had all almost killed him several times through neglect. He said the other nursing homes had been better about showers (which may be true), but I said I was surprised he said t hat because at least they shaved him at his present home.
Lately he has been voicing more discontent. I think he is suffering from not having people to talk to. As he puts it, all the patients at the nursing home are senile and can't converse decently. I want to remind the reader that my brother's intelligence is uneven, he can be quite articulate about certain things and then can be tongue tied and stopped in his tracks when he wants to speak, especially about emotions and any kind of interaction. It is very difficulty to keep up any kind of conversation with him.
But he said something that really caught my attention. He said that the way to survive a nursing home is to not care. That's what he said "not care". I knew immediately what he meant and it made me feel badly for him.
I am fortunate that he, up to now, has not gotten irritable about being placed in a nursing home. In fact, when I drop him off, he usually says something jovial to the receptionist, like, as he said tonight,"oh well, back to reality".
