I had the operation and it was a success. I am told that I have a 95% chance of the cancer not reoccurring, and I don't need radiation and chemo. That is a relief.
Last Friday, my husband drove me to see my brother. It was a long drive in my condition, I am still pretty weak. But it was good to see him. He made a comment thanking me for taking him out of the nursing home and giving him a break. I am sorry that we can only be doing this about once a week until I get my driving privileges back in about two weeks. For right now, I am dependent on my husband to drive me, and let's face it, his plate if pretty full taking care of me.
However, I was really struck by how much my brother needs me to stay alive and take care of him as much as I can. If something happens to me permanently, his life is going to go even more down hill. Such is life.
Sunday, May 29, 2011
Sunday, May 8, 2011
visit in between softball
I went to visit my brother yesterday in between my daughter's softball games. It was a bit of a rush, but we were already pretty far west of the city, and I figured then I wouldn't have to visit him on Sunday. While I was there, the nurse told me how well he is doing.
I spoke to her on the side and told her I was going to be out of commission for a while and that I needed surgery. She suggested that I bring him home for a visit so that he wouldn't worry about me. I was a bit irritated, I guess I feel that having cancer (she doesn't know that's what the surgery is for) is important enough where I can concentrate for once on me and not his needs. However, I know she meant best.
He does seem to be doing well, he hasn't looked this good in quite a while. Who knew he would adjust to this new living situation so well? Meanwhile, I just hope they remember to do all the things that I usually have to nag them about.
I was very happy that I didn't have to go out there today on Mothers Day. Instead, I went garden flower shopping at a nursery, went to the Northwestern Womens softball game, a walk, worked out, and then out for dinner. Now I have to go to sleep early because I have a 7 am appointment with the anaesthesiologist tomorrow morning.
I spoke to her on the side and told her I was going to be out of commission for a while and that I needed surgery. She suggested that I bring him home for a visit so that he wouldn't worry about me. I was a bit irritated, I guess I feel that having cancer (she doesn't know that's what the surgery is for) is important enough where I can concentrate for once on me and not his needs. However, I know she meant best.
He does seem to be doing well, he hasn't looked this good in quite a while. Who knew he would adjust to this new living situation so well? Meanwhile, I just hope they remember to do all the things that I usually have to nag them about.
I was very happy that I didn't have to go out there today on Mothers Day. Instead, I went garden flower shopping at a nursery, went to the Northwestern Womens softball game, a walk, worked out, and then out for dinner. Now I have to go to sleep early because I have a 7 am appointment with the anaesthesiologist tomorrow morning.
Saturday, May 7, 2011
the support network
One of my biggest concerns that I have while preparing for my surgery is the care of my brother while I am incapacitated. The nursing home is not good about changing his hearing aid battery and shaving him. Also, I wonder how even if I can drive if I am going to be able to lift his walker into the car so I can take him out of the nursing home at least once a week, which I have been doing since he got there.
So I called the nursing home administrator, who is new. I just got a collection agency bill from the doctor's billing service, which doesn't accept medicaid. I have a very difficult time understanding how a nursing home can use a doctor that doesn't accept medicaid when there are people on medicaid who live there. The original administrator told me to ignore the bills, that she would call the doctors office and take care of it. She obviously never did. The new ones told me that she knows this is a problem and is about to call the doctor and tell him to start accepting medicaid or they will find a new doctor. She said for right now, most families pay the bills. They are not much right now because my brother also has insurance, but there is going to be a six month period where he doesn't have insurance and also doesn't have medicare. (what a great health care system we have!). I just paid the bill last night.
Then I told her about my upcoming surgery, about the lost clothes, shaving, the need for the CNTs to make sure that they walk my brother and do chair exercises, etc. I told her that when I get bills (the bills take into account that my brother gets SSI, all that money minus $30 goes to the nursing home) it would be great if they would say what month they are for so I can keep them for the trust records, We'll see if she delivers.
Last night, I asked my husband if he would be willing to visit my brother while I was incapacitated. He agreed, and also assured me that if the cancer turns out to be serious, he will assume responsibility for him. I hate to stick him with this, it never occurred to me that I might not outlive my brother.
All this is pretty morose, I am hoping, and it is likely, that all I need is a hysterectomy and that's it, and that I willl be back on my feet in a month. Nevertheless, these thoughts have crossed my mind, especially in the middle of the night. I wouldn't wish this on anyone.
So I called the nursing home administrator, who is new. I just got a collection agency bill from the doctor's billing service, which doesn't accept medicaid. I have a very difficult time understanding how a nursing home can use a doctor that doesn't accept medicaid when there are people on medicaid who live there. The original administrator told me to ignore the bills, that she would call the doctors office and take care of it. She obviously never did. The new ones told me that she knows this is a problem and is about to call the doctor and tell him to start accepting medicaid or they will find a new doctor. She said for right now, most families pay the bills. They are not much right now because my brother also has insurance, but there is going to be a six month period where he doesn't have insurance and also doesn't have medicare. (what a great health care system we have!). I just paid the bill last night.
Then I told her about my upcoming surgery, about the lost clothes, shaving, the need for the CNTs to make sure that they walk my brother and do chair exercises, etc. I told her that when I get bills (the bills take into account that my brother gets SSI, all that money minus $30 goes to the nursing home) it would be great if they would say what month they are for so I can keep them for the trust records, We'll see if she delivers.
Last night, I asked my husband if he would be willing to visit my brother while I was incapacitated. He agreed, and also assured me that if the cancer turns out to be serious, he will assume responsibility for him. I hate to stick him with this, it never occurred to me that I might not outlive my brother.
All this is pretty morose, I am hoping, and it is likely, that all I need is a hysterectomy and that's it, and that I willl be back on my feet in a month. Nevertheless, these thoughts have crossed my mind, especially in the middle of the night. I wouldn't wish this on anyone.
Sunday, May 1, 2011
surprise
Well, I was going to write about deciding to get my brother's cataracts done through the nursing home's doctor rather than his present doctor who refuses to do medicaid. His insurance will pay about 75% of the cost, but why not have medicaid pay the rest?
However, on Friday, I was very surprised to find out that I have endometrial cancer,it was totally unexpected. I'm not going to go into the details, because this blog is supposed to be about caretaking and not about me. Hopefully, I will just have to get a hysterectomy and won't need extra treatment, but it's obvious there is going to be some down time this summer. I am feeling very badly about placing the burden of taking care of my brother on my husband. We have had to do so much because of him, and the caretaking I have had to do for my parents when they were aging and dying. I am also worried about my teenage daughter's mental health, she has spent her whole teen years living through multiple, serious, health crises that we have had to deal with as a family.
I am pretty sure stress has played a role in my health, it's one of the reasons I decided to place my brother in a nursing home. Now I have to start thinking about changing job conditions.
However, on Friday, I was very surprised to find out that I have endometrial cancer,it was totally unexpected. I'm not going to go into the details, because this blog is supposed to be about caretaking and not about me. Hopefully, I will just have to get a hysterectomy and won't need extra treatment, but it's obvious there is going to be some down time this summer. I am feeling very badly about placing the burden of taking care of my brother on my husband. We have had to do so much because of him, and the caretaking I have had to do for my parents when they were aging and dying. I am also worried about my teenage daughter's mental health, she has spent her whole teen years living through multiple, serious, health crises that we have had to deal with as a family.
I am pretty sure stress has played a role in my health, it's one of the reasons I decided to place my brother in a nursing home. Now I have to start thinking about changing job conditions.
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