Wednesday, January 18, 2012
my brother is doing pretty well
My husband is still driving me out to see my brother because one of our cars is being fixed. I was pretty tired tonight, but happy to see my brother looked pretty good. The head nurse happened to stop by while we were visiting and I was able to find out that the cardiologist thought he was ok. Earlier in the week I was called by the speech therapist about her evaluation of his gagging. I told her I was not sure whether the issue was in his throat or his gastro-intestinal system, and I asked for a GI analysis. However, today he claims he has not had an incident for two weeks. But he is belching a lot. I spoke to the head nurse about it and we decided to go through with the GI exam.
Monday, January 16, 2012
not dead yet
Last Saturday I went to visit my brother. At breakfast he told me his roommate had died and they had put in a new roommate immediately who only spoke Chinese. I said I was sorry and asked what had his roommate died of, was he in the room when he died, and what did the other patients have to say about it. I couldn't get much information out of him.
When we got back to the nursing home, I noticed that his clothes (I thought) were missing again. Also, they had him in the same green shirt for about 4 or 5 of my visits with him. So I was talking to his CNT, the one we like, and mentioned that it was too bad his roommate died. It runs out he didn't die! The CNT told me "he's in the hospital, just for diarrhea". So I immediately went to where my brother was hanging out, near the nurses station, and told him. He said "oh".
My brother also told me that the cardiologist had seen him on Friday. This must have been a result of my request. Now I need to go follow up and find out the results. Of course, no one is going to call me and let me know.
When we got back to the nursing home, I noticed that his clothes (I thought) were missing again. Also, they had him in the same green shirt for about 4 or 5 of my visits with him. So I was talking to his CNT, the one we like, and mentioned that it was too bad his roommate died. It runs out he didn't die! The CNT told me "he's in the hospital, just for diarrhea". So I immediately went to where my brother was hanging out, near the nurses station, and told him. He said "oh".
My brother also told me that the cardiologist had seen him on Friday. This must have been a result of my request. Now I need to go follow up and find out the results. Of course, no one is going to call me and let me know.
Sunday, January 8, 2012
gagging and sad news
I took my brother out for breakfast yesterday, because I have mentioned, my car is in the shop and my husband needs the other car on Sundays so he can play basketball. As soon as I got to the nursing home, one of the more together patients, Carole, wheeled up to me and let me know that my brother's girlfriend, Veronica, had passed away. She knew because for some reason, Veronica's daughter was still visiting the nursing home even though her mother wasn't there. Carole didn't want to be the one to break the bad news, so she asked me to.
I told him at breakfast. There was a slight look of shock in his eyes. He said "my God" and that was about all. I couldn't tell if he was upset because he missed her, or because he was dealing with his own mortality. Maybe it was a bit of both. But I know my brother and know that he just doesn't connect emotionally in the same way other people do. The subject was changed and we talked about other things, I don't remember what. I tried to circle back to see if there was anything he wanted to get off his chest but there wasn't. I said something like she must have been pretty sick and he said, "yes, very sick and very crazy".
During breakfast he gagged on his food. He hasn't done this since he had his gallbladder taken out. He was gagging quite a bit for several years, and it took that long to discover that he had an infected gallbladder and that the stones had gotten stuck in a liver duct. But the gallbladder is gone, it shouldn't be happening anymore. I asked him was it his throat (he was hoarse again) or his stomach or his esophagus and he couldn't tell me. I asked him how often it happened and he said frequently, and when I asked how frequently, he said once a week. I know from experience this kind of information is just not reliable. I started looking at him a lot closer. I noticed he looked a bit swollen in the face and almost like he was getting jaundice, kind of a tanned look on his face. I also saw that he had a long gash on his arm. I asked him what that was from and he said he woke up with it. This has been another ongoing problem, he picks at his skin. Last year, I took him to a dermatologist and the doctor couldn't figure out what it was, she thought maybe it was neurological, that he felt something that wasn't there. The nursing home says it's not that unusual among their patients. It's one of the things that used to drive me crazy when he lived in assisted living because there was no one there to notice and patch him up, the cuts tend to get infected because he doesn't keep them clean.
When we got back to the nursing home, I talked to the nurse about it. She looked up his weight and it looks like he has gained about 3-4 lbs, not enough to start talking about removing water from him but getting there. She said the jaundice may be because he is getting swollen again. She said she would write into this chart that the nurses should keep a look on him for water retention and gagging. I mentioned that if he had to go to the ER, I wanted him to go to the hospital nearest to where I lived, not the hospital closest to the nursing home. She said she would write that in too.
Later on that night, about 9:30, I got a call from the nursing home. Of course I figured that something was going on with his heart, but they were calling to let me know about the gash, that it was bad enough that it sets off a reporting requirement where they have to let the relatives know. This has been an issue before, they have called in the middle of the night for these minor issues. I told the new nurse about the gagging problem and I didn't like her response. She said that the CNTs keep a good eye on it in the dining room. I told her that wasn't the issue, the issue was did a doctor need to look at him.
The whole situation does not give me a lot of confidence that the nursing home is going to catch an adverse condition in a timely way. I am a little aggravated that I am the one who has to keep an eye on all this. Plus, his insurance is going to run out this month, and then he will be soley on public aid until July when medicare kicks in.
I told him at breakfast. There was a slight look of shock in his eyes. He said "my God" and that was about all. I couldn't tell if he was upset because he missed her, or because he was dealing with his own mortality. Maybe it was a bit of both. But I know my brother and know that he just doesn't connect emotionally in the same way other people do. The subject was changed and we talked about other things, I don't remember what. I tried to circle back to see if there was anything he wanted to get off his chest but there wasn't. I said something like she must have been pretty sick and he said, "yes, very sick and very crazy".
During breakfast he gagged on his food. He hasn't done this since he had his gallbladder taken out. He was gagging quite a bit for several years, and it took that long to discover that he had an infected gallbladder and that the stones had gotten stuck in a liver duct. But the gallbladder is gone, it shouldn't be happening anymore. I asked him was it his throat (he was hoarse again) or his stomach or his esophagus and he couldn't tell me. I asked him how often it happened and he said frequently, and when I asked how frequently, he said once a week. I know from experience this kind of information is just not reliable. I started looking at him a lot closer. I noticed he looked a bit swollen in the face and almost like he was getting jaundice, kind of a tanned look on his face. I also saw that he had a long gash on his arm. I asked him what that was from and he said he woke up with it. This has been another ongoing problem, he picks at his skin. Last year, I took him to a dermatologist and the doctor couldn't figure out what it was, she thought maybe it was neurological, that he felt something that wasn't there. The nursing home says it's not that unusual among their patients. It's one of the things that used to drive me crazy when he lived in assisted living because there was no one there to notice and patch him up, the cuts tend to get infected because he doesn't keep them clean.
When we got back to the nursing home, I talked to the nurse about it. She looked up his weight and it looks like he has gained about 3-4 lbs, not enough to start talking about removing water from him but getting there. She said the jaundice may be because he is getting swollen again. She said she would write into this chart that the nurses should keep a look on him for water retention and gagging. I mentioned that if he had to go to the ER, I wanted him to go to the hospital nearest to where I lived, not the hospital closest to the nursing home. She said she would write that in too.
Later on that night, about 9:30, I got a call from the nursing home. Of course I figured that something was going on with his heart, but they were calling to let me know about the gash, that it was bad enough that it sets off a reporting requirement where they have to let the relatives know. This has been an issue before, they have called in the middle of the night for these minor issues. I told the new nurse about the gagging problem and I didn't like her response. She said that the CNTs keep a good eye on it in the dining room. I told her that wasn't the issue, the issue was did a doctor need to look at him.
The whole situation does not give me a lot of confidence that the nursing home is going to catch an adverse condition in a timely way. I am a little aggravated that I am the one who has to keep an eye on all this. Plus, his insurance is going to run out this month, and then he will be soley on public aid until July when medicare kicks in.
Thursday, January 5, 2012
putting on liquids
My husband was nice and drove me to visit my brother last night. One of the reasons is because I had an auto accident and one of our cars is now in the shop for the next 30 days. This is going to make it a bit difficult to visit my brother, and it is going to have to cause a change in the routine. For instance, I am going to take him out for breakfast Saturday morning instead of Sunday so that my husband can take the car Sunday morning and go play basketball. I am a little freaked out about having an accident (I never had one before), and the car being so damaged, but at least no one got hurt and the car is insured and it's only money, nothing more important.
I was a bit concerned when I saw my brother. He was a little hoarse and when I asked him what he weighed he said he had gained about 5 lbs. I am figuring by next week I am going to have to intervene and ask to have a doctor see him again. I wonder how many times you can safely take lasex before your kidneys fail. Not a pleasant thought. That's basically how my father died. He also had congestive heart failure and eventually his kidneys did him in (along with a non-responsive episode and a stroke. But that's another story.)
I'm having some friends over Saturday night for a belated Hanukkah party. That's because their father died right during Hanukkah and we postponed the whole thing. I am feeling a little guilty about not inviting my brother but not guilty enough to do something about it.
I was a bit concerned when I saw my brother. He was a little hoarse and when I asked him what he weighed he said he had gained about 5 lbs. I am figuring by next week I am going to have to intervene and ask to have a doctor see him again. I wonder how many times you can safely take lasex before your kidneys fail. Not a pleasant thought. That's basically how my father died. He also had congestive heart failure and eventually his kidneys did him in (along with a non-responsive episode and a stroke. But that's another story.)
I'm having some friends over Saturday night for a belated Hanukkah party. That's because their father died right during Hanukkah and we postponed the whole thing. I am feeling a little guilty about not inviting my brother but not guilty enough to do something about it.
Sunday, January 1, 2012
New Years Day, 2012
I took my brother out to Dunkin Donuts on New Years Eve, not New Years. These days when I walk into the activity room and haven't announced that I am coming in advance, I usually find my brother nodding out with the other 25+ patients (the rest of the them are in wheelchairs). I am not too happy about this, but he perks up immediately when I walk into the room. This leads me to believe that the little trips that I make with him twice a week are important, and even thought I get tired of having to visit him, I do it anyway.
We had a nice little visit at the store. They now have a 99 cent "expresso" that both he and I have been ordering. It kind of wakes me up for the drive home. It's good. I also left him a container of Lucky Soup, which is a bean soup tradition that my mother started, you are supposed to have it at the New Year for good luck. The nurse at the desk was very nice about it and said that my brother should remind the nursing staff to heat it up for him for dinner.
I called the nursing home today on New Years Day to wish him a Happy New Year. The first time I called they put me on hold for 15 minutes, so I hung up and tried again. The second time, after about 10 minutes they got back on and told me that he was probably on break. So I asked, where we he break to, he's a patient. They said oh. Then they went to go get him and the line was dropped. I gave up for a while.
I was able to call and speak to him later in the day. As usual, he was pretty curt. I don't think he likes the stimulus of phone calls very much, he is always rushing me off the phone. I asked if he had eaten the soup, and he said no. He said he would have it tonight. I doubt he will get it together to ask for it.
But what a difference a year makes. This time last year, I was sure he wouldn't make it through the year and a lot of his doctors felt the same. As I mentioned before, at least for the present, he is looking relatively good.
We had a nice little visit at the store. They now have a 99 cent "expresso" that both he and I have been ordering. It kind of wakes me up for the drive home. It's good. I also left him a container of Lucky Soup, which is a bean soup tradition that my mother started, you are supposed to have it at the New Year for good luck. The nurse at the desk was very nice about it and said that my brother should remind the nursing staff to heat it up for him for dinner.
I called the nursing home today on New Years Day to wish him a Happy New Year. The first time I called they put me on hold for 15 minutes, so I hung up and tried again. The second time, after about 10 minutes they got back on and told me that he was probably on break. So I asked, where we he break to, he's a patient. They said oh. Then they went to go get him and the line was dropped. I gave up for a while.
I was able to call and speak to him later in the day. As usual, he was pretty curt. I don't think he likes the stimulus of phone calls very much, he is always rushing me off the phone. I asked if he had eaten the soup, and he said no. He said he would have it tonight. I doubt he will get it together to ask for it.
But what a difference a year makes. This time last year, I was sure he wouldn't make it through the year and a lot of his doctors felt the same. As I mentioned before, at least for the present, he is looking relatively good.
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