For some reason today, it did not take so long to drive to see my brother, only about 25 minutes. It makes a big difference on my mood. My brother was in a good mood and is still beaming about his girlfriend. Turns out she has a daughter who visits every day. My brother says the daughter is also taking care of her disabled from a stroke husband. I have yet to meet anyone. I don't think she is in the common room when I am there. I haven't asked him to introduce me because I haven't had the energy to engage, so far, but I will.
I did not visit him during the week. I had lots of doctors visits, including my 3 month check up with my oncologist. Although I wasn't expecting any bad news, I was still pretty stressed about it. I also had to work late twice this week. And I have some kind of cold that is making my muscles hurt as well as my throat. So I figured I needed the rest and I felt ok about it.
I would like to visit him just once a week, but it doesn't feel right. But I am thinking about it.
Sunday, September 25, 2011
Sunday, September 18, 2011
another cataract operation?
I have decided to postpone doing the cataract operation for my brother's other eye. It's just too many people (especially me) having to take off too much work when I myself have a bunch of medical appointments I need to do too.
The hang-up is that his private insurance only lasts until Jan. 1, and then he is only on Medicaid until July 1 when his medicare coverage starts. (That is assuming that Congress doesn't just kill the whole program.) So either we get it done in the next few months or we wait until July.
The ride out to the nursing home is beginning to get to me. I am thinking of getting him on a waiting list for a medicaid bed for a fairly decent nursing home that is much closer to my house who won't take him anyway until he turns 65 (two years from now). My husband questions why I want to move him when he seems so settled in where he is, but my reply is that it's 2 years from now, who knows if they will even take him, and when, and who knows what's going to happen, anyway.
The health care delivery system in this country is completely out of control. Right now, my brother gets blood tests that are billed to his insurance at $300/week. I only have to pay $3 of it. But I am assuming I am going to have to make other arrangements in January. I don't raise a stink about it right now because I don't have to pay. The whole thing is really, really crazy. There are people with their hands held out taking their cut all along the way.
Meanwhile, my brother continues to be in a good mood, which is wonderful.
The hang-up is that his private insurance only lasts until Jan. 1, and then he is only on Medicaid until July 1 when his medicare coverage starts. (That is assuming that Congress doesn't just kill the whole program.) So either we get it done in the next few months or we wait until July.
The ride out to the nursing home is beginning to get to me. I am thinking of getting him on a waiting list for a medicaid bed for a fairly decent nursing home that is much closer to my house who won't take him anyway until he turns 65 (two years from now). My husband questions why I want to move him when he seems so settled in where he is, but my reply is that it's 2 years from now, who knows if they will even take him, and when, and who knows what's going to happen, anyway.
The health care delivery system in this country is completely out of control. Right now, my brother gets blood tests that are billed to his insurance at $300/week. I only have to pay $3 of it. But I am assuming I am going to have to make other arrangements in January. I don't raise a stink about it right now because I don't have to pay. The whole thing is really, really crazy. There are people with their hands held out taking their cut all along the way.
Meanwhile, my brother continues to be in a good mood, which is wonderful.
Sunday, September 11, 2011
a girlfriend
Lots has been going on in my life lately, and I'm glad I finally have time to write. Besides moving my family to a different house, last week I was finally able to arrange for my brother to have cataract surgery. They gave him the first appointment so that he wouldn't have to go too long without food and drink and possibly pass out. That meant I had to leave my house at 5:00 am in the morning to pick him up at 5:50 am. I live now about 10 minutes more in each direction from the nursing home. The procedure itself went smoothly and only took about an hour and a half from start (prep) to finish. After we left the surgery, I took my brother out for breakfast, so the whole thing lasted about 6 hours, with about 4 hours spent driving back and forth. He says he can see a lot better now, which is so important.
Today, when I took him out for our weekly Sunday breakfast, the receptionist mentioned that I should ask my brother about his "girlfriend". I did, but he wouldn't tell me a thing. On my way out of the home, she stopped me again and told me the whole story. It turns out there is a 74 year old woman who "doesn't have it all there" who has taken a fancy to him. Actually they have taken a fancy to each other, hold hands, and even had a lovers quarrel because she was mad that she declared her love for him, but he hadn't for her. Eventually he did. This all has taken place during the last week.
The receptionist is telling me that the staff is teasing the two of them about a wedding. I am a bit concerned that staff interest in the relationship (they think it's cute) may be patronizing, and also lead to some weird expectations. However, I have known that he has always wanted a girlfriend his whole life, so if this makes him happy, I am ecstatic.
I was in Minnesota over Labor Day and talking to a friend who is an advocate for the disabled. She asked me how my brother was doing and naturally assumed that his placement in a nursing home was not desirable and I explained to her how actually he seems to be doing quite well and likes the "social" aspect of it. But it never occurred to me that he would have adjusted like this!
And when I was away on Labor Day, I did not worry about him once. This is very liberating.
Today, when I took him out for our weekly Sunday breakfast, the receptionist mentioned that I should ask my brother about his "girlfriend". I did, but he wouldn't tell me a thing. On my way out of the home, she stopped me again and told me the whole story. It turns out there is a 74 year old woman who "doesn't have it all there" who has taken a fancy to him. Actually they have taken a fancy to each other, hold hands, and even had a lovers quarrel because she was mad that she declared her love for him, but he hadn't for her. Eventually he did. This all has taken place during the last week.
The receptionist is telling me that the staff is teasing the two of them about a wedding. I am a bit concerned that staff interest in the relationship (they think it's cute) may be patronizing, and also lead to some weird expectations. However, I have known that he has always wanted a girlfriend his whole life, so if this makes him happy, I am ecstatic.
I was in Minnesota over Labor Day and talking to a friend who is an advocate for the disabled. She asked me how my brother was doing and naturally assumed that his placement in a nursing home was not desirable and I explained to her how actually he seems to be doing quite well and likes the "social" aspect of it. But it never occurred to me that he would have adjusted like this!
And when I was away on Labor Day, I did not worry about him once. This is very liberating.
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