I called up my brother on New Years to wish him a happy new years. My husband, daughter, and I had taken him out for New Years Eve lunch and it had been a pleasant experience. I really appreciate it when someone else in my family deals with his walker and folds it up and puts it in the car trunk. I know it's a little deal, but it just feels so luxurious not to have to do it, it becomes much less of a burden to take him out. It's just psychological.
Anyhow, when he came to the phone he was his usual self. Barely a hello, just pretty much an ok, thanks for calling and then he hung up. I remarked to my husband that it would be nice once and a while to actually have a real conversation with him on the phone. My husband remarked that it some ways it makes it easier to deal with him because he keeps his emotional distance. I believe this is part of his autism. By not connecting emotionally, it's easier not to get sucked into his problems. Actually he never really talks about having any problems at all any more. He used to talk about his need to live with "regular" people, not people with developmental disabilities. But now that he is, he doesn't seem to have very many issues at all. It's just kind of a flatness. I suppose I am used to it, but as I said, it would be nice if the relationship wasn't just all one way all the time.
I do get some things out of the relationship and I do love him. But it's not the same as loving someone without autism. It's really very bizarre.
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