nursing home

My brother was released to the nursing home.  I asked for an extra set of orders so I could find out more in detail what the diagnosis is, but of course the nursing home has misplaced them.  I am going to have to go to the hospital to get them. 

The nursing home is physically the nicest one he has been in yet.  It is very clean and very quiet, it doesn't look fully occupied.  In fact, it may be too quiet for my brother, he likes to be around hustle and bustle, even though he doesn't interact that much.  (It's very hard to talk to him because he likes to engage in conversation, but is incapable of keeping up his side of the conversation, it can be exhausting thinking up things to say to him)

These transitions are hard on all of us until the staff gets to know him better.  I have to be pretty pushy so that they understand and address his needs.  So far, the staff seems kindly, unlike the last Medicaid home he was in where they clearly could care less about his well being. 

Already he is not getting the medical care he needs, but I expected that.  He is just not going to get the constant medical oversight you can get in a hospital. 

He arrived in a wheelchair via medicab.  When I walked into the room, he looked quite comfortable in his bed and chowing down on his dinner with gusto.  In the hospital he had been picking at his food. 

Today when I called I couldn't get him on the phone.  He has difficulty reaching for it, we are going to have to work out something with the staff.  About an hour ago, I asked them to have him call me, but so far he hasn't.  (I am off work today for the MLK holiday)

I am spending the morning paying medical bills and getting my deceased father and my brother's tax stuff together for our accountant.  Then I'm dropping my brother's and my daughter's winter jackets off at the cleaners to get their zippers replaced.  And then it's off to the hospital to pick up medical records (I couldn't get them yesterday because it was a Sunday and the office is closed) and most importantly, his medical power of attorney that list me as the poa.

He is complaining that his feet are numb, I am pretty worried about that.  I figure it's either the edema from heart failure or he is also beginning to lose neurological function too (I have suspected that because I often catch him just kind of drifting off into space)

However, I am going to DC tomorrow for work meetings, I am actually kind of looking forward to getting a way for two days, and quite grateful that my husband has agreed to step in as necessary when I am away.

Oh, and one more thing.  I have been noticing lately how interesting my brother's hands are.  He has very long fingers with no meat on them because of a combination of cerebral palsy and lack of eating.  They are a little misshapen, but beautiful in their own way.  I am thinking of taking a photo and posting them on the blog, but I'm not sure how to do that without it being weird for my brother.

And just for blog readers who may think my life is not going too well, that's not true in many ways.  Today I am taking my daughter out to breakfast and am looking forward to it.  I am catching up on a lot of housework today, and I like that too.  I'm also looking forward to an interesting work meeting in DC.  My son is very attentive during these crises and I really appreciate that too.

I think it was Nietzsche who said something like:  "Anything that doesn't kill you makes you stronger".  I think most siblings of people with disabilities would agree that while we would rather not have our relatives and ourselves suffer from disabilities, the experience does give us a certain kind of character and depth!