Saturday, January 8, 2011
Spoke too soon today
I spoke too soon today, it turns out that when I went to check in on my brother this morning to see how he was feeling, he looked really lousy. I got him to drink a pint of juice and do a little walking, but I am getting really discouraged. Whether or not he ends up in the hospital from this cold which can very likely turn into pneumonia, I am confronting the fact that at some point, I am going to get just too fried from all this and decide to permanently put him in a nursing home, because that's all the State of Illinois has available for supervised care. I am not willing to give up huge portions of my life to take care of him, taking care of him is a full time job these days. I am not willing to stop working. There are no other relatives to take turns. Leaving the house is going to mean getting respite care. Furthermore, he is going to be way too lonely, although he is autistic, he likes to be around people all the time, and we're just not home that much.
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Dear Mardi, My heart goes out to you on many levels. The most poignant one is the age old question of how to have a life for you and your family and also how to be effectively responsible for your brother.. I, too, struggle with that even at the tender age of 67 and my brother is 61. Things seem to go along smoothly for awhile and then there is a crisis and the other show drops..I realize that I am always waiting for the other shoe to drop. When there is a crisis I tend to become consumed. Fortunately, my brother is in a group home that is quite good but when it comes to medical things I usually become involved. Since my brother had Down Syndrome and has been showing signs of cognitive losses I feel this even more. Two years ago he developed pneumonia and was in an ICU for a month and in a respiratory care unit for another month. It was very traumatic, he temporarily was unable to walk, and he became even more afraid of medical procedures. It does not end, we have no other siblings or relatives, my husband is caring and supportive, but...I bear the brunt of it..
ReplyDeleteAging is no fun in the best of situations and certainly being a SIBLING does not make it any easier. Thanks for the blog and the opportunity to express ourselves while I hope offering support to you. You are not alone..mjr
I am so happy to have the first blog from another person! I'm still feeling my way around this blog thing. I wanted to make sure readers saw mjrs comment so I clicked on it on my page and opened it up. I hope everyone else can see it.
ReplyDeletethanks for the support. and I'm sending some your way too.
does anybody know how to get rid of the paragraphs when I sign a comment as Sister?
I forgot to add: mjr, let's hear more, I hope you tell us more about you and your family and your brothers care.
ReplyDelete